So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
