Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize