How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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