After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
