I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
