Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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