Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
