My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
