my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
