im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
