last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
