the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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