i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
