He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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