just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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