Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize