she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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