I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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