we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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