So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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