what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
