Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
