I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
