the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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