can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
