I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
