I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
