So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
