if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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