Just fell off a train. Bad.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
