He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
