we have pet lesbian snakes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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