im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
