This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
