you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
