I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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