oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
