So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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