did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
