THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
