when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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