So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
