I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
