Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
