i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
