After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
