i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
