Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Drunk is not a location!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
