threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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