Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize