last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
