i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
