The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize