Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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