Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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