That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
