I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
