just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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