actually, I'm a sock model
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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