We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
