I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Barsexuality is the new black.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
