Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
