My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
