maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
